|
Tagboard by Tag-Board.Org |
My Links
Let's Talk over Coffee....
| |
Let's Talk over Coffee.... |
About Me What is this blog About My Friends Tag Me |
Friday, September 14, 2007 Just saw my results. I'm sad...but it was not bad....however I don't think I will get roll of honours this time. My results are fine...in the sense that I still managed to get some As. But not enough for me. I wish I have someone to drink with me now.I know I have not touched alcohol for a long time but right now I think I need some. I want to feel some numbness.Am I pushing myself too hard? Why am I so weary of what others think of me? Will I ever step out of this dark enclosure I accidentally entered years ago? I get no tears...I pretty much want wished that I could cry to let out all the bitterness in me. Sadly I can't. It appears that I've lost the ability to cry. I'm all alone when I need some one to just be there. I don't need any comforting words. I just want the presence of someone beside me. A few cans of beer maybe. Yet everyone's asleep am I'm left here in the darkness. It is weird. I want some company and yet at the same time I want silence and some solitude as well...... I've been trying hard to refrain myself from thinking of suicide cos I don't want to die but the emotional torture is unbearable. I kept inflicting physical wounds on myself for no reason apparently. I feel like a psycho and I hate being one. But if one need to enjoy life a little and if inflicting wounds make me feel better...why not? Why should I care what others think of me? Oh fuck it, I still DO CARE of what others think of me no matter how hard I try. Seriously, I'm sick of wearing this mask. I'm emo deep inside me and I don't find that glamourous like many others do and hence I cover true self up. Suddenly, at this moment of time, I don't know what I need to feel better. On second thought, no...alcohol won't make me feel better,....company won't make me feel better. WHAT EXACTLY DO I NEED? |
| Layout Design by Hajira | Thanks to:Getty Images • Blogspot • Blogskins • |